I asked myself, "Kevin Chastain, is everything okay?"
Kevin Chastain answers, "Yes, everything is okay."
I, then, say to myself, "Are you happy?"
Kevin Chastain answers, "Overall, everything is good."
I replied, "You didn't answer the question Kevin Chastain."
Kevin Chastain studdered, "No, I am not happy. Yet I am happy with what I've become and I am happy for for what I accomplished. And not matter what anybody says about me, I do not care. For at the end of the day, nobody knows Kevin Chastain, yes that is me, better than myself, Kevin Chastain."
I hesitated, "Kevin Chastain, I am Kevin Chastain."

confusing? I want to say yes, but the overall meaning is that I am happy with what I've become and I am happy with wear I am going. If I get turned down for a position or internship, doesn't mean I am going to stop being Kevin Chastain. At the end of the day, I am sleeping as Kevin Chastain and when I wake up and live my life, I am going to live it as Kevin Chastain. If you, or any of your friends have a problem with it, then I say, go ahead and waste your time on me. Yet I am going to waste my time and furthering myself, and mastering who Kevin Chastain is going to be (:

So why am I all about being about being myself and being happy no matter what.

One is because I made two hospital internships/volunteer force (: For both interviews and application process I was myself throughout the whole time. Being me, offering what I can offer and not exceeding my limits. In the end, both hospitals wanted me and took me in. Currently I am volunteering at the Garden Grove Medical Center. It has been amazing so far. I love all 10-15 nurses that I met. They are all amazing in what they do. I started talking to the medical doctors, they are so down to earth. It's going gravy there at the Garden Grove Medical Center. Funny thing is right after I started volunteering there my cousin from my dad side stop working there because he had to go back to school. All the nurses and doctors thought I was Joe, my cousin, when I first started. That means I have to make a name for myself, and get them to remember me as Kevin or Chazzy (: Within the coming weeks I will be starting the St. Mary's Medical Center Orientation in Long Beach. So three orientation days for that internship. That should be exciting (:

Second is because I applied for Student Coordinator for Orientation Programs and I didn't get it. Why did I not get it? I don't know however, I should find out this upcoming Tuesday because I have a contact meeting with Serena Cline, the supervisor for Orientation Programs. It's been very awkward for me to hang out in the office that denied me both for Campus Tours and Student Coordinator. Thus I try to not hang around there as much as possible, but it is too difficult for me not too. So I gave up. It's hard to stop myself from seeing the people I love and care about. We have so much history together, I just can't stop myself from showing up just because I did not get a position. Overall I am glad I gave up because people like Butkus and Naomy Ramirez (: makes it too hard for me not to hang out in there.

Third is because I have grown so much over the 19 years, 1 Month, 6 Days, 3 Hours, 22 Minutes, and still counting. Going through elementary school, which I did not care of what people think of what my hair look like to how I dress to the way I acted and thought, to junior high, where I was the loner that nobody didn't really talk to, to high school where Kevin Chastain started to figure out who Kevin Chastain is, to college which transform the person that I am today and still going.

Okay I guess that's enough about the whole Kevin Chastain, being myself, and loving myself ordeal. BUT YES I DO LOVE MYSELF (:

I've been pulling my weight in school. I know that I can pull myself up from a 2.52 to a 3.50 when I graduate and apply for Medical School. I have all the social aspect hands down, now I need to focus on my academics. 4 more weeks of school and I think I have a good shot at pulling my grades somewhat. So I am going to pray and do what I need to do. Not only that but Spring Registration is November 13 for me. Hopefully all my classes are opened (:

I also have not been going out other than to volunteer at the Garden Grove Medical Centers. I am somewhat proud of myself. However, the only reason why I am staying in is because my father gave me a talk on how I go out to much and I go out every weekend. What do you expect padre? I am a college student with an active social life. You can't expect me just to drop my social life and stay home for the rest of my life. Okay that's a disclaimer, I actually did drop my social life for the past 3 weekends and still going, just to make him happy. However I am starting to loose like .5% respect for him. He tells me I am not able to do this, I am not able to do that. Yet for the past 3 weekends, he went over to my mom's cousins house and he, let's say, "party." I don't think it's fair for him to go out every weekend and tells me that I can not go out every weekend. It should be that both of us are allowed to go out every weekend not you stay in when I go out since I am older. That does not make any sense. So irritating sometimes. I scold at him behind his back when he says things because I don't know if it's genuine or not. I still do love him, it's just he needs to sit on a chair and watch his actions on a screen because I don't think he's seeing what everyone else is seeing.

Social Life, what can I say? I have amazing friends that still loves me even though I can't go out and do social events with them (: They are TERRIFIC and I am glad they are also understanding (: I dont' know what I would do without them.

All in all, what I am feeling, I feel good, not okay and not great, just good (:

a lot can affect a person throughout the day. i don't know how i do it. being optimistic and yearning for hope and happiness.

today, I drove to school and my brother was napping in the car. I didn't want to wake him because I knew he was tired so I let him sleep until 15 minutes before his class. He woke himself up and ran off. I stayed in the car for a bit longer and I noticed this car had her lights on for 30-45 minutes.

A though process occured in my head, " I know I should go tell her but I don't have the nerve too." As that thought kept on going, another thought process occuredin my head, "If no one tells her then her car battery might die. Go wake her up and then head in." So I walked over to the car, woke her up and she turned off her lights.

I realized making a mistake isn't so bad, it's just learning the hard way. Think about it.

Scenario: A kid in preschool is getting tease about wearing a cape to school by one of his peers. What does the kid do?He has the choice to walk away or stand up for himself and fight.

Solution: The kid walks away, his dad shows up with a cape, gives all his classmates a cape. The next day the kid who teased him wanted to him to do everything with him. The teaser asked the kid, "Where's your cape?" and the kid goes, "I am not much of a follower," he turns around and finishes, "I am a leader."


what an amazing kid right! he's only 4 and he walked away from something that was bothering him and acted like the leader.


Another Scenario: A college student entered college for the first time and wants to make a new friend. He's very shy and is waiting for people to just walk up to him and talk. In his case, the options he has are very slim. Either he is going to find out going people to talk to him and be friends, or wait for the longest time and never find the friends that he is looking for.

Solution: Reality is, he doesn't end up waiting. He knows that he is in a different enviornment and he knows that not many people in college know each other. Thus he was the first person to turn right in one of his classes and said, "Hello, My name is Mark, what's your name?" That phrase right there can go a long way.

He is shy, however he knew that if he didn't step outside of his bubble, he would not grow as a person. Deep down inside he was scared however, he found his good friends for life (:

Okay I am done with the scenarios I guess. Yet remember:
you fall down. pick yourself up and keep on going.
scared that you might be made fun of. walk away, know who you are and smile.
made a mistake. brush it off and learn

I guess that is what happened today. People walked by the car with the lights, laughing and smiling. Did I laugh and I smile?Yes, I sure did. However, did I get up and allow others to see what I was doing so they can look away with shame. Yes, I sure did again.
After helping her, I walked down the flights of stairs and was really proud of what I did. I knew that if something like that would of happened to me, I would of wanted someone to approach me and tell me. Rather having people walk past by me laughing and smiling and giggling.

Life is tough, even though I wasn't the one being affected. I was the one changing the outcome of which could of been bad. I find that people today should do the same thing. We are after all in the 21st century. How about showing chivalry nowaday. Who cares if you are a boy or a girl, it allow people to see that there are people like that in this world. They will see that and start to mimick it as well.
strive for optimism and yearn for hope and happiness. for one day we will eventually get it.

Everyone in the world deserves a chance. Am I crazy for saying that? Yes. Do I follow what I say? No.

I am beginning to realized that everyone has so much potential in life. Even if I have problems with someone, I know that deep down they are meant to be here for some reason. They are here to help and change the world. Affecting one person at a time.

Thus, my goal everyday now is to help someone. No matter who, by picking up their keys, directing them to the right building, walking over to wake someone to turn off their car lights. I know that by helping that one person, it will remain with them after. If we don't see each other, they know that I was the person who helped them when no one else did and they can take that into effect and do it themselves and so on.

bought the wrong ITEM!